“I thought I was over you, but my heart still aches for your presence. My heart still burns for you.” This is something that everyone relates to at some point in their life. We are afraid of emotional damage, yet look for love in the wrong places.

Break up is the byproduct of differences and misunderstandings between couples. The age-old question of whether or not it's possible to maintain a friendship with an ex has sparked quite a few round-table conferences. Tell me have you ever sat down and wondered how you folks got here? If yes then, what makes you wanna go back to them? Do you want them to be a part of your life? Finding a friend in your ex might be tricky though.

“I miss holding your hands and talking to great lengths.” Yeah, we relate to it too. Being friends with an ex means you’re mostly likely to experience the same emotional rollercoaster as before. While some people swear by cutting ties to heal, others believe it's quite possible to be just friends with them. The truth lies somewhere in between.

We all felt when Harry Styles said “It's not the way it was.” Now there are a few things that you gotta remember when you want them back in your life.

• Was incompatibility the reason rather than betrayal or toxicity? In that case, friendship might be a possibility. However, if the breakup was messy or involved infidelity in any form, please rethink and prioritize your emotional well-being.
• Putting the “Friends with my ex” label too soon might pose an obstacle to your healing process. It's generally advisable to take some time apart after a breakup to process your emotions and gain perspective. Straightway jumping into a friendship might not be the right idea!
• If one of you still has romantic feelings, it can be a bummer and create complications. Both of you’d end up being hurt. Both of you need to be on the same page about the equation between you two.
• Boundaries are not a fad! It is literally the rock of any relationship, even FRIENDSHIPS! Defining what is and isn't acceptable in terms of contact, emotional intimacy, and social interactions can probably prevent misunderstandings.
• It is quite obvious that you’d have relationships in the future as well. And the equation with your ex would surely impact the new relationships. If it hinders your emotional availability or creates complications, it might be best to focus on moving forward without the friendship band on hand!

I know you're still seeking the silver lining behind the dark cloud. Fortunately, we have a few this time.

• Trust me when we say, closure is something we need, we mean it for sure. If you're not given closure, you'll still feel that there's something left unexplored and unspoken. Friendship with an ex can provide the opportunity to talk about the relationship. It helps in closure and an opportunity to resolve lingering issues.
• Friendships that are based on shared experiences can offer some sense of continuity and comfort. If you're a part of the same team at your workplace, or a classroom, or a friend group, then it's understandable. Maintaining amicable relationships with your ex-partner is a preferred road for sure. At times, overlapping social circles can create awkward situations and potentially strain existing friendships. Again, think it through before executing it.
• A breakup has often something more to do with just being the end of a romantic relationship. And an ex can often be a source of support. You might find comfort in talking with them, especially during challenging times, only if the breakup wasn’t messy. 

Eventually, if you decide to pursue a friendship with your ex, make sure to check these boxes…

• Avoiding Ex-Talk: Rehashing the past can hinder emotional healing. Avoid dwelling on memories or reliving old arguments.
• Respecting New Relationships: If either of you has moved on and is dating, supporting each other's new partners is important.
• Maintaining Distance: Having your own lives and friends outside of the friendship is okay.

It often takes time to heal after a breakup. Taking some space before attempting a friendship can help ensure the decision is based on genuine feelings. Maintaining a platonic relationship can be difficult if there are lingering romantic feelings on either side.

Okay, are you expecting to rekindle the flames or genuinely looking for friendship? The only thing is to just be honest with your motives and expectations. Don’t lie to yourself at least!  If you believe that a friendship with your ex can be healthy and beneficial for both of you, then it's worth exploring. But, then again, if it's hindering your emotional growth or causing you pain, it might be time to reconsider.

Here is some pep talk for you, whether or not you choose to be friends with your ex, it's essential to move forward in a way that allows you to heal and grow.

If you still wanna go back to your ex for ‘needs’, consider Thirdbase first! You’d not regret it for sure. Precaution is better than cure anyway!